NUIT journal · English translation
Who can a man talk to?
Male friendship, intimacy and the fear of opening up: bell hooks and two podcasts offer ways to think about emotions in men’s lives.
French original: 25 October 2026
A man who wants to talk about how he feels may have a simple question: to whom? A friend, the person he lives with, someone who will listen without turning everything into a solution? To approach emotions and male friendship, we bring together bell hooks’ La volonté de changer, a specific episode of Émotions and the podcast Les Couilles sur la table.
These are reading and listening suggestions. They offer words for discussing intimacy, expectations and masculine ideals. Each has an angle; none can sum up every man’s emotional life.
What does masculinity leave for feelings?
Divergences presents La volonté de changer as a reflection on patriarchy’s effects on men’s emotional lives. Fear of intimacy, work and expectations of sexual performance are among the subjects described. The French edition appeared in 2021, translated by Alex Taillard.
This approach interests us because it connects masculinity with love. It makes room for a question beyond succeeding or failing at a role: what relationships do we want to build? A man may want to be caring while struggling to say that he feels lonely. We can examine that gap without turning it into a fixed identity.
One question to keep while reading: what room is made for individual responsibility? Understanding how a habit was learned can begin a discussion about what we want to change. It also leaves room to disagree with the author and to ask what does or does not fit our own experience.
What do friends talk about?
The episode Pourquoi les hommes ont-ils du mal à parler à leurs amis de leurs émotions ? belongs to the Des mecs solides mini-series within Émotions. The official page, dated 25 January 2026, presents Tristan Vincent and psychologist Niobe Way. It describes an investigation into links between male friendship, vulnerability and the pursuit of economic success. Bruno Lus and Basile Roze wrote and recorded the mini-series.
The connection with bell hooks concerns the ideals people try to meet. The book addresses expectations related to work; the episode describes a story in which economic success has an important place. Together, they invite us to look at what we tell others about ourselves when we mostly describe what we do.
A question proposed by NUIT: what would you like to discuss with a friend without having to make the story funny or finish by announcing that everything is fine? You can keep it to yourself while listening. There is no obligation to confide in someone with whom you do not feel comfortable.
Opening the discussion further
Les Couilles sur la table, created by Victoire Tuaillon, offers ways into other aspects of masculinities. Binge Audio presents it as an interview series about their social construction. Our profile links to the producer’s catalogue: choose a subject that interests you rather than treating the entire series as a single argument.
Begin with the specific Émotions episode for a focused account, or La volonté de changer for time with an essay. The two formats offer different ways to consider what friendship, intimacy and emotional expression might mean in your own life.
Works and sources
- La volonté de changer · bell hooks · Official source
- Émotions · Louie Media · Official source
- Les Couilles sur la table · Created by Victoire Tuaillon · Official source
- Émotions: male friendship · Des mecs solides · 25 January 2026
NUIT’s selection draws on the cited official presentations, consulted for the French article on 25 October 2026. It is not a review based on reading or listening to the works in full. The linked programmes are in French.