NUIT journal · English translation
What does saying yes mean?
Manon Garcia and an episode of Émotions offer ways to think about consent, expectations within couples and the guilt of not wanting sex.
French original: 25 October 2026
Talking about sexual consent also means asking what conditions allow someone to give an answer. Can they hesitate? Change their mind? Say no without having to spend an hour offering reassurance afterwards? Those questions give us a reason to pause over Manon Garcia’s La Conversation des sexes, then an episode of Émotions about differences in desire.
We bring them together because of their subjects. One offers philosophical reflection; the other begins with personal accounts and interviews. They provide different ways into a discussion, depending on whether you want an essay or to hear people describe what is happening within their relationship.
A yes, and everything around it
The publisher’s presentation of La Conversation des sexes distinguishes legal, moral and political questions. Garcia examines romantic and sexual consent through gender relations. That attention to the conditions of a relationship, beyond the word someone says, is why the book belongs in NUIT’s selection.
In an interview discussed by France Inter in August 2022, the philosopher argues for a conversation that makes room for each person’s preferences and for those preferences to change. She also emphasises men’s responsibility for the conditions of that exchange, within the heterosexual relationships she describes. That position should be attributed and discussed, rather than turned into a recipe for every encounter.
A question to keep while reading: who carries the conversation? Who starts it, returns to it and tries to understand? We can think about how that effort is shared without claiming to know what the other person thinks. Clear communication need not become an exercise in mind-reading.
When saying no becomes a question about the relationship
In Culpabilité au lit : comment gérer les différences de libido en couple ?, Barbara Pucheu considers what happens when partners’ desires differ. Louie Media’s presentation mentions her own guilt about saying no and the account of Laurie, whose desire is greater than her partner’s and who has questioned what that means for their relationship.
The episode also announces contributions from Margaux Terrou and Rébecca Lévy-Guillain. It shifts the discussion towards expectations and representations of desire. That subject interests us because it opens a way to discuss refusal without reducing the whole relationship to how often people have sex.
After listening, two separate questions might help a discussion: what do I want to experience today? What worries me about our relationship? Blurring them may leave the first unanswered. These are prompts proposed by NUIT, not statements attributed to the episode’s contributors or a method of treatment.
Where to start
For a framework for thinking about norms and power, begin with our introduction to La Conversation des sexes. The France Inter interview linked below gives a first view of Garcia’s position before you choose the book.
If your question is closer to “why do I feel guilty when our desires differ?”, the specific Émotions episode is a more precise starting point than the podcast’s general page. Its presentation identifies the subject and guests before you listen. You can also stay with one work and take time over the questions it raises for you.
Works and sources
- La Conversation des sexes · Manon Garcia · Official source
- Émotions · Louie Media · Official source
- Manon Garcia on France Inter · 26 August 2022
- Émotions: differences in libido · 30 June 2024
- Publisher presentation on Apple Books
NUIT’s perspective draws on the cited presentations and interview, consulted for the French article on 25 October 2026. It is not a review based on reading or listening to the works in full, or a legal analysis. The linked French-language material has not been translated by NUIT.